On Token Gestures

I like to think of myself as a fundamentally honest man. I try hard not to lie, and this often leads to people saying things like "Damn, Noel, that was rough!" and "Noel, you're a great guy, but that was completely lacking in tact." I generally try not to tell white lies, unless they are absolutely necessary. Perhaps paradoxically, I also think that meaningless, token gestures are a necessary social lubricant. They show at least some thought and awareness of a given social situation, and generally will make the person on the receiving end of the token gesture feel somewhat appreciated.

I'm also a believer in chivalry and I'm kind of old-fashioned. Now ordinarily, I wouldn't write so much about myself, but it is a necessary preface to this post. Despite being an overwhelmingly charismatic Voltron-like amalgamation of two great rock guitarists, I have found it necessary at times to seek out new sources for dating. Most recently I have turned to Match.com, because, well, let's just say it's a story involving a date with the girl at the Perfumania kiosk at the mall, an iPhone, and a bunch of scotch.

Anyway, I end up on a semi-blind date last night with someone I met on there. We're having dinner, and the check comes around. Now being the old-fashioned gent that I am, of course I am planning on paying for dinner. However, I sort of expect at least the token gesture of offering to pay something. No such offer was to be seen! Bear in mind that I'm a broke grad student and my date has a real job and went on a bit about summers in upstate New York... where she owns two homes... that are both free and clear.

We went for after-dinner drinks, and I was thinking, "Perhaps she will offer to pick up the tab on my very delicious and smooth shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey!" Guess what people? SHE DID NOT.

Ladies (because God knows there are scores and scores of ladies reading the Most Known Unknown Sports Blog), these things are important. It's okay to expect a man to pay on the first date. Hell, it's even okay if you decide not to call a guy back after you offered and the guy actually takes you up on the offer. But you have to make the gesture. These meaningless gestures are what keeps society going and separates us from the animals. We are better than dogs, I tell you!

Needless to say, there will be no second date.